Lessons In Letting Go

This is something I should have posted last fall in October that I never did. I didn't post it because I honestly think I wasn't ready to. My life has changed in so many ways in the last few years, and I feel like it took me this long to get myself in a place of relative peace because I needed time and space to heal my emotional wounds. A year on and I'm now a stronger person with much less baggage than I used to have. So here it is, plain and simple. This is what I felt like returning home after a long journey, like a depleted and crestfallen Odysseus coming back to my own Ithaca. 

I want to preface this post by saying that life is strange, but sometimes you see it coming.

I saw it coming. Now it's here, and that's okay. I get it now. This is another lesson I have to learn.

As of this moment in time I've just returned home after 2 years of being away, and it's like I was never here at all. Yes, of course there are those few memories that I recall from long ago that bring a small smile to my face, but really those occasions where few and far between even in the good times. Being in a home where one never actually feels at home makes coming back awkward and, in many ways, sad. Seeing things you remember not with fondness but with a heartache and a tear attached to them is not comforting. That is why I am choosing now to let go. This my new mantra/coping mechanism/lifestyle/what have you. I am removing all that does not serve me in my life, or things with negative attachments (or both), and sending them out into the world. Some things are material and I hope they will be enjoyed by others, and some are not. Some things are emotional attachments, long-lived, that I really need to be rid of once and for all. I'm sure those of you that read my blog understand what I mean; we all go through hardships at some point in time. 

Since I've been home, which is about 2 weeks, I've gone through many of my material possessions and have begun preparing for the garage sales, and getting eBay set up, started donating to clothing drives and donation-based charities and the like. I feel good giving to others and making space for more freedom in my life; the act of giving and releasing myself from these objects should have been an activity I started many years ago. At least I have begun to do this now instead of waiting again for another opportunity to come along, because I do feel that right now it really has come down to the proverbial "now or never". *

*Reflecting on that time last year when I wrote this, I do not wish to alter it now. It does seem to have an unfinished quality to it, but that was me at that time- unfinished, in limbo if you will. I still have no regrets about my decision, and I'm found peace for the most part when it comes to that time in my life. Hope you've enjoyed the read.