Fortitude

For the last few weeks now my day-to-day life has just seemed to blend together. I would wake up early after a very late to a mish-mash of crazy routines until finally the day came to an end, only to start all over again the next day. This has continuously been the last few months of my life. Blah.

Agonizing through the days, I looked to my friend, the Tarot, for guidance. I was hoping for something, anything, to be a glimmer of insight into what was to come. Being tired, I did a single card draw of course. So tired. Perhaps my mental state and energy played into this, but the card I drew was the 9 of Wands. Not the most likely card, but right away I saw myself in that situation. As if I was looking at myself, I saw the tense, restless feeling of trying so hard to hang on to what is left and preserve strength. Fortitude is the word that best describes this time in my life and what I am trying to do with my current job, so I saw this as related to my work, not necessarily my personal life. Work has been very arduous in the last few months. To be honest, I'm only supposed to be a part-timer and I've been working to manager an entire store since the end of May, and juggling online courses as well. Sleep hasn't exactly been plentiful or restful, to say the least.

So here I am- literally trying to keep things afloat and continue to create abundance in my work for the last several months with minimal help from outside sources and no support from the higher-ups. Difficult and dejected, I've been riddled with self-doubt over moving forward and being promoted. Turns out I won't be getting that promotion, and while I'm sad about it, it's also a relief. I can finally let go of what I've been putting up with for so long and look to broaden my horizons, I just need to hear the okay to take what has been given to me and put it down to rest.

The hard work has paid off, but the price was steep at times. Soon I can leave it behind and use what I've gathered to build on for a better future. I just have to hold my ground until then, and fight with what I have left to sustain me on my journey.