Crickets out my window, the quiet of night radiant with the light of the moon- what a great sight to meet my weary eyes on such an evening. I've had a long day with the same trials and tribulations I've faced for the last few weeks. Where am I going, and what exactly to I need to give myself to get there? I can't even begin to answer these questions, but at least I can sit quietly, peacefully even, and look at the moon with awe and gratitude. The summer has been eventful in many good ways, even with the not so good looking a lot more positive in this blue moonlight. But what of it? Well, the things that I came to believe I understood changed into the things I now realize I didn't actually understand. I see that now. That lack of understanding on my part was not intentional, it was merely a formality of not having more life experience than I ought to at my age. Of course, life is never cut and dried like that. No, life has taught me more lessons in the last year about myself in a way I never saw before. The shy, introverted girl I was is no more a wallflower of sorts. I can hold my own like the rest of them now, but I still hold back at times. Why so? To be honest it's because I'm not quite 100% comfortable with it yet. Soon, hopefully. Time is healing a part of my character and inner-strength that I thought was permanently damaged not even a year ago. I'm not damaged, not by a long shot. The ability for me to be a strong-willed person was potentially there the whole time, if only I had been aware of how to look inside myself and bring it out into the open sooner. Sadly, life hands you lots of lemons before it lets you make the lemonade.
Like the corn in the fields, bathing in the moon tonight, I'm still growing and maturing into what I want to be. Although I'm not sure what I want to be, I know, deep down, that it's close to being realized. Good thoughts on a good night, for sure.
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