Astrology Failings (Full Moon in Virgo)

I'm really not 100% percent on the ball with my Astrology, which is why I've been gradually challenging myself to learn more on the subject, but I do know that right now we have entered the sign of Pisces, the cosmic fish as some call it, and have just moved past the full moon phase as of February 25th. Therefore, I reasonably thought that we had just finished a full moon in Pisces. Apparently that was wrong. Thankfully I did some online research before I posted this and made a fool of myself- pulling a Fox, I'm going to call it. Instead of pulling a Fox, I took some time out and looked up which sign the full moon was actually in. Show's how much I know. The moon was actually in Virgo. Yes, I did a metaphysical face-plant on that one. Ouch.

In light of all this, however, I am seeing a pattern where I can now actually take the time to redeem myself for lacking in Astrological knowledge. It seems like now is a good time to actually use the Farmer's Almanac I bought for 2013 to look for some interesting reading in learning more about Astrology. I had an 'Everything' series book on Astrology, but I was never able to connect to it very well. It was a very well-written book complete with mini-exercises, and I liked reading it, but I just never read it through well enough to understand all the lessons. Bad Stephanie, and entirely my fault. Sometimes I try but I just can't get into it enough to connect on a deeper level. One of my major flaws, sadly. Oh well.

My faults aside, how does my experience right now relate to having the past Full Moon in Virgo surrounded by Piscean energies? Well I did some more research and partially answered this question. My research led me to understand that, first of all, a full moon's sign does not necessarily correlate to the sun-centered astrological signs that occur on a monthly basis. Rather the moon's sign changes on a near-daily basis as per the fluctuations of the daily signs that occur on each day during the year. More clearly, the monthly signs are one part of the astrological cycle for the year with 12 signs for each approximate month. The daily signs also follow a similar cycle with a time period for each sign (about a day and half) with a smaller time period known to astrologers as 'void-of-course', which means there is no sign during that time. According to traditional astrological belief, planning to do activities during void-of-course periods is not advisable, even counter-productive or unlucky. Perhaps a good reason to invest in a moon calendar, for those of us that have a tendency to be superstitious at times.
Another topic of interest I discovered was that right now we are within a Mercury retrograde period- as if my skills and methods of communication were not lacking enough right now. I've read about Mercury retrograde issues before when I first began to read horoscopes more frequently. I knew I wouldn't be a fan of these time periods when I heard about them. Who would? I'm guessing this is why I haven't felt the urge to make a Tarot video in the last few weeks. Again, bad Stephanie. This may also be a contributing factor to why someone I know decided to move out of their apartment unexpectedly, completely forgetting to mention it to their landlord and forfeiting their damage deposit. I told them so. That Mercury retrograde gets you every time.
All that aside, the moon in Virgo during a Pisces month is pretty interesting. The signs themselves are contradictory; Virgo being a stable and practical earth sign, and Pisces an ever-changing and emotional water sign. In that respect, this full moon was a bit all over the place. And I did feel a bit out of sorts during the days of the full moon. I felt emotional, hormonal, a tired, and mostly stuck in a bad situation- like I had no way out of my muddled mess of a mind. It was a losing battle at bedtime as well. Vivid dreams with lots of men and weird situations on a houseboat. Thank goodness that one didn't last long.

Anyhow, I should try and learn more about Astrology. It is key knowledge in working well with witchcraft and understanding the cycles of time within nature and the universe. If Nostradamus could do it, so can I, I guess.

Grey Areas In Dating

Normally I wouldn't post about this kind of thing, as I'm more private when it comes to my love-life, but I've been so lost in thought lately on this subject I felt a good purge was in order today.
Perhaps others out there have been in this situation, but lately I feel as if I alone carry this sort of 'burden'. I guess you could call it that, maybe. Anyways, the crux of it is that I've been in a relationship with the same man for 8 years. I love him to death and we both know that we will end up together eventually. At this point in our lives we don't know exactly when, but we know it will be sometime in the future. That being said, despite knowing we will be together forever, we are not in a position to be engaged to one another. We are living in different countries at the moment, have very different family issues going on (this is more my side than his), and we are busy putting out lives together so that we can eventually move in with one another, somewhere in the world, at some point. So yes, there is a lot of physical disconnect despite the fact that we are very connected mentally and emotionally to each other. Now, my question has been for a long time- what does one do when they are not ready to be engaged, but are not single and not "on the market", so to speak? Is there anything, any cultural significance to this intermediary stage between dating and marriage? I know for sure that I'm in a committed relationship, just not ready to be engaged for marriage. How do I advertise this to other people? Is there a way? I have a feeling there isn't, but that's not a reason to forget about it. My solution right now is to wear a ring on my left hand. I've been doing it for years, since before I even met my boyfriend, as jewelry is one of my favourite things in the world. I've even been known to wear, goddess help me, engagement-style rings on my left hand despite not being engaged. Perhaps this is wrong of me, but I love him and I don't want to advertise that I might be single. Thus an interesting solution presented itself. I could wear an engagement like ring out in public, have people think I was engaged, but I wouldn't actually be engaged. And yes, my logic is just spectacular at these moments, I'm sure you're thinking that right now.
I suppose I should just come out and say that my reasons for sending this information out into the universe is a bit two-sided; yes, I want to get this off my chest, but on the other hand I also want validation to my actions. I'm just not sure what to do with my feelings. Right now I deeply feel that I am undeniably connected to my boyfriend, so much so that I feel I am engaged to him. There is that deep connection on so many levels that makes our relationship beyond the 'committed but still just dating' dynamic. But we're not in a position to be married yet. I have no idea what to do about these feelings, but hopefully I can somehow figure out how to deal with them one day. Maybe when I actually get engaged.
Yeah, I'm a silly girl sometimes. Whatever.

Major Arcana: The Magician

One of my favourite cards in the Tarot trumps is certainly the Magician. To me, this card is one I have always taken as signifying that one is in control of their destiny. They know exactly how they can attain their goals, using the tools the universe provided to them in this life. That sounds like a big job, yes, but you'd be very surprised how little external tools it takes to be successful compared with the gifts and talents you have right within yourself.
As much as I like and appreciate this card being called 'The Magician' amongst the English Tarot decks, when I actually think about the significance of this card as an archetype I tend to go more with the French title, 'Le Bateleur'. Translated literally, this gives the card the more mundane name of 'The Street Performer', as opposed to the more grandiose and macabre 'Magician'. Over the years of using and learning to read the tarot, I have often supposed the true intent of the card's archetypal name would be something like 'The Street Magician'- incorporating the image of an ordinary person doing extraordinary things, which to me, makes much more sense in the grand scheme of things. Don't we all wish we could be extraordinary? Have we not watched someone performing so-called "magic-tricks" and felt both awed and perhaps slightly envious of their talent? Maybe so, or maybe not. Regardless, a street performer of 'magic' is, as we know, not performing magic at all. At least magic in the metaphysical sense (I could elaborate on that statement quite lengthily, but that really is another post entirely of its own). The street performers 'magic' is in his tools, yes; they are specially made for that purpose. But give the spectators the same tools and see if they can work the same routines- the same 'magic'. It will never work. This is the essence of the Magician. A Magician is his tools of trade and his internal knowledge and talents. As you can see, it's more David Copperfield than Merlin. Each and every one of us could perhaps learn to be David Copperfield; not all of us can be Merlin. That's not to say that a Copperfield could never become a Merlin. The difference to me is the ability to use and control the material tools you possess versus the ability to control the cosmic elements and the ether around you. One is of external control and the other a more internal control. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat is true talent; using your own personal energy to manifest positive forces in your life is true magic.
To sum it all up- we all need to learn and teach ourselves how to be the best we can be in life with what we have been given as people, as unique and powerful human beings. The first step in the mastery of life is learning to be the street performer, but the ultimate test of life is learning how to be the magician.

Falling Between the Cracks

Wisecracks, that is. I told myself that I should just forget it and not be one of those bloggers that uses their blog to blast Fox News and voice their Pagan opinion on the comments that (unfortunately) surfaced on national television the other day. Then again, why should I not?
I've mentioned before, in passing, how I've felt about bringing my Pagan-self out into semi-public view. It was never an idea I was completely over-the-moon with, but coming out of one's shell is something that must be done when the time comes to advance in almost anything. Pushing yourself to go beyond your limits is the only thing that will enable you to show yourself just how capable you really are. So I'm more out there than I used to be now, and I'm still happy. I'm still the person I want to be and I like how other people see me, so, in a word, I have advanced. Hurray for me. Now Fox News, in their delightfully denigrading morning talk show, has spoiled some of my advancement into the big, bad world out there. I use the term 'some' because I honestly think they were just being their usual un-informed selves and not intentionally trying to be malicious. One would hope, anyway. I cannot fault them for their stupidity- it's not like they know any better. But really, they should. For the sake of their viewers, and social equality, they should know what the hell they're talking about. To say that Wiccans (Pagans in general, really) have 20 holidays is just absurd. Would they care to reference where they found this information? Even a quick glance at Wikipedia would have given them a pretty accurate answer. So shame on you, Fox News. I don't watch your morning show, and if this is the kind of quality of information I'd expect to hear on anything- morning traffic included- I will certainly not be watching in the near future. Or ever.

How's that for a Dungeons-and-Dragons-playing-twice-divorced-incense-burning-midwifery-loving Pagan?
You dolts.

If you are interested in listening to this drivel, you may find it here. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, I'm done.

Aches and Snakes

It's that time if year again- Chinese New Year, that is! This year is the year of the Snake, so I feel somehow that this year will bring me to focus more on spirituality and the incorporating the Goddess into my daily life, as one of the oldest symbols of the Goddess is the snake. Snakes are symbols of transformation and wisdom, and of the active kundalini spirit that compromises ourselves within the chakra centers of our bodies. I have not devoted much time to chakra work as of late, but it's never too late to learn more and strive to keep everything in balance. To be honest, since the beginning of my learning to work with my chakras, I have become more adept at sensing my imbalances during certain times. I know that my recent anger and annoyance stems from my root and sacral chakras being out of wack, surely. My pendulum will certainly get a workout this week when I get started on clearing aligning my muladhara to my sahaswara. That's the root chakra and the crown chakra names in Sanskrit, and no, I'm not trying to be smart. It's true that I've noticed more often when my chakras are off-keel; at the same time I tend to have backaches. Taking that as a physical manifestation of misalignment, I know it's time to clear things up, metaphysically speaking. Not much of a backache right now, but I am having trouble sleeping and getting comfortable in bed- probably a sign of a backache to come. At least it's kept me awake long enough to write this post.
Gong Xi Fa Cai, and wishing you all much abundance and luck for the year of the Snake.

Blessed be xoxox

Post-Imbolc Thoughts

This year I (thankfully) was able to celebrate my Imbolc ritual to honor the goddess Brigid on the night of February 1st. As opposed to lat year when I was so stressed out it took me two weeks to finally get enough peace and quiet to centre my thoughts and take a breather for some Brigid-centric fun, though it felt a bit chore-like in the beginning. This year was not that bad, but it did take some time to get my mind off the present state of my home environment. At least a few moments of grounding in front if my altar gave me peace of mind and the relaxation I needed to get in the mood. It's so hard to be happy when others around myself are stressed or upset, I've noticed. Otherwise, I managed to set up my sacred space and cast my circle well enough. I'm still working on a natural rhythm to my rituals, but I need more time with my written rituals, which right now I'm making do without. Oh well. Such is life when you are living between countries.

Essentially, this Imbolc was the third year in a row that I have reaffirmed my connection to Brigid. I have always felt a strong connection to her, as mentioned in my last post, but this Imbolc I had the feeling that I was missing something. I'm not a Dianic sort of practitioner in my craft, but I do get the feeling that I've been leaving the God-aspect out of my rituals too much. Not on purpose, but because there isn't much of a God-focus at times than there is a Goddess-focus in the Wiccan/Witchcraft material I find myself absorbed in at times. Realizing this gap in my spiritual practice had led me to want to learn more about the male side of Wicca and witchcraft, and the male aspect in paganism in general. Hopefully I can find some practical and enlightening reading material on the subject- perhaps a good look online through various websites can give me some more ideas.

Otherwise, this Imbolc was great for my mental and spiritual well-being. I feel recharged and ready for the coming spring. Hopefully I can find more inner strength to empower myself for the coming months until I have the freedom I need to move forward with my life.

Preparing for Imbolc (More on my Altar)

More on my altar space before I started the Imbolc festivities. It's really just me gabbing and going off on a few random things; being home again makes me reminisce like that. 

My Lovely Altar

 

After a year away from my sacred space I did some freshening up and decided it was a good opportunity to do a video. Have fun watching and leave comments if you like. 

Brigid's Day

Already we have reached the month of February; a month of love, the coming end of winter, groundhogs, and leap days. For me, the month of February has not only been about those aspects, but has also been about the Goddess, specifically the goddess Brigid. I was drawn to the goddess Brigid during research about traditional triple goddesses. Her name came up during my studies and I was intrigued at how she was a triple goddess symbolizing poetry, metal smithing, and healing with a connection to the element of fire. As a Sagittarius that loves to get creatively inspired by writing, crafting, and natural remedies, I figured Brigid would be right up my alley, goddess-wise. She certainly has become a source of inspiration to me over the years, and perhaps I am now a little wiser for it.
Working with Brigid, whether in an esbat, at Imbolc/Candlemas (also known as her feast day in the Catholic Church), or in meditation, has given me a sense of freedom of expression always with a burst of creative energy. On the first Imbolc I actually celebrated I wrote my first Sabbat ritual. No joke. The ritual was conceived and written out in about 30 minutes, right on my laptop during a small ice storm. It was the most exhilarated I'd been in ages and amazingly, I performed the ritual that same night feeling a creative spark that continued well on for the next two weeks. My Book of Shadows took a turn for the better, getting filled up with more than twenty pages of material in just over two weeks, which for me was a milestone.
Still Brigid continues to inspire me, even in the hardest of times. As a thank you I dance for her, to send some energy back into the universe in return for Brigid as a divine muse to my creative self. Whether that energy really gets back to her, I do not know, but what I do know is that I feel better for doing it and maybe, in some miniscule, obscure way, it does give back something I may have taken from the ether of our universe.
I love the goddess Brigid, and I hope to know of her and the fire that fuels her positive creation capabilities she may bestow upon myself for many years to come. Hopefully all that wish to understand her and gain knowledge from her fiery wisdom may do so with much happiness and, as the French say, "joie de vivre".