As a witch I know and understand that there must be a balance between positives and negatives, and so one must take the good with the bad. 2012 wasn't bad, per se, but it wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be. I learned that what I wanted didn't matter- the Goddess had other plans for me in 2012; she wanted me to understand what I needed, not what I wanted. I can honestly say that she did one heck of a job getting that message out there to me in the last twelve months loud and clear.
That being said, the year 2012 as I experienced it was a roller coaster of emotions, disappointing events, and hard situations. I don't think I would want to relive the entirety of 2012, but certainly some moments I will remember fondly for the rest of my days- and some not so fondly. Definitely not fondly.
This year that has now passed was also a year of change for me and my spirituality, and the changes that I felt in my life also gave rise to deep changes of my inner-self; the dormant part of me came out of hiding and the fear I had felt in the past gave way to anger and some resentment. Not intentional, I assure you, but strong emotions can't be hidden under the surface forever. The time must come when you have to either let go and free yourself, or explode suddenly into nothingness. I did a tad bit of exploding, but nothing major. On the other hand, I did let go of a lot of baggage. Nothing is more freeing that pushing your worries and anxiety off your shoulders without looking back. It was a very hard thing to do and I could not have done it without the help of Hekate. She was looking out for me this year like nobody's business during the times of my inner trials and tribulations. I owe her a good amount of karmic debt for helping through the dark times I went through after the passing of my grandmother up until now.
2012 was also a year for enriching what I've known for so long in my craft. I've been practicing seriously for almost four years now (this coming Ostara will mark the anniversary), and I was feeling all the signs that I needed to step up my game somewhat, so I took a small foray into ceremonial magic. It was very interesting to read about and learn historical facts about its origins, but its not really my cup of tea. I'm a very quiet and introspective person by nature, which does not allow for grand spectacles of circle casting and angel invoking pentagrams, hexagrams, and so forth. I was never so self-conscious as I was doing the Greater Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram. I now know that ceremonial magic and Thelema are not my cup of tea, and possibly out of my league, Witchcraft and magic-wise. I was never into magic that much to begin with, so I'm not too bothered about it. I did, however, enjoy doing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, and if need be I would certainly do it without any inhibitions whatsoever. There's a good story to go with that, but next time.
In other news, my cold is almost gone and I'm heading back to making Tarot videos post-haste. My channel on YouTube has quickly grown to 13 videos, and I hope this month I can add more in depth and interesting topics here on my blog as well. I'm also thinking about making my blog my unofficial book of shadows. I'm not super keen on the idea, but since starting my blog I've almost totally ignored my BOS. I feel bad about that, because I do enjoy writing about my spiritual experiences and my craft. However being on the shy side does not make it easy for me to put such personal information out there for others to read. But yeah, I'm thinking about it for now.
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