I haven't posted since Yule now, but I've been a bit out of it since Christmas dinner ended. This year the holidays were pretty much up to my sister and I to organize, and the whole thing took quite a bit of energy out of us. Post-Christmas news: I came down with a very bad cold exactly 24 hours after the fact, and I've been through about 4 boxes of tissues, not including the box I'm sniffling my way through now.
My energy levels are just about zero, which is much better than yesterday. I'm not even sure how I had the energy to eat yesterday, but hey, still here. Which brings me to another topic: the world as we know it didn't end!
Not that I'm surprised; we all knew it wasn't going to end. I do, however, agree with those that say now is a time when the world as we knew it would change in many ways. I am seeing that change in myself; it's very gradual, and somehow I get the feeling that it will be more of an emotional change than a physical one.
I'm not proud of some of these emotional changes in myself at times. I have noticed that I do become much more irritable than I used to be, and I get angry quite often. When I was younger I wasn't an angry person at all, but maybe ageing does that to you. I guess I've gotten to a point where I feel trapped without a outlet to vent my frustrations at my current life situation. It's very hard to deal with at times. Like the huge piles of snow sitting outside my door right at this very moment (we had over 45 centimeters of snowfall the other night as the first snowstorm of winter). The snowflakes kept coming down as each hour passed, until everything was covered up in a frosty wonderland. My own feelings get to me in this way more often than not. The frustrations come down on me and cover me up emotionally with nowhere to go but the same inner receptacles of my mind and my heart. I'm not a cold person by nature, but I feel that inner anger come unleashed at certain times, and it's disturbing to me. I'm going to stop talking about this, because it doesn't really fit into the scheme of things right now. Snow does though. Lots of snow. Apparently Montreal broke it's record the other night for the largest snowfall since 1971. Considering the normal winter conditions here, that's pretty impressive. So the Christmas snowfall is finally here- sitting outside my front door in humongous, dauntingly high piles.
As you can see, the snow is nearly up to the birdhouse and halfway up the tree. Thank goodness the big brawny Gardeners also shoveled out the pathway, or else there was no leaving the house. Crazy big snow.
Just the way I like it.
Since tons of snow always means winter is full on, let's enjoy the coming indoor months as we must. Snowmen (and snow-women) need not apply.
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