I did something last night that I've wanted to do for a long time. I changed my YouTube channel so that I can post videos on the Tarot and get my Etsy shop back on and running.
The past year has left me itching to do something fun and interesting, put myself out there in the online world and see what happens. Yet, as always, I face feelings of apprehension and anxiety at putting myself into the public eye. As a shy person by nature, this is expected, but adding my Pagan outlook to the mixture does not a good recipe make. For the most part (and I'm just generalizing here) most Pagans I know of are a bit scared to be publicizing themselves to the mundane world. Yes, people nowadays are more tolerant, accepting, and educated- for the most part- than they were even 50 years ago, but stigmas still hold tight in many eyes. Perhaps it is because we feel the need to keep secret about what we do, our beliefs, and our unique outlook on the ways of nature that make us seem set too set apart from the rest of society to actually integrate our inner-selves with our public personas. It is a hard thing to do, which is why I've been battling this inner debate with myself over whether I should have my real name out there or not. For the record, all you Pagans, Witches, Wiccans, Shamans, Druids, Vodou practitioners, Root workers, Ceremonial Magicians, and any other domination of Pagan that belong to nature-based spirituality, if you have our real name out there I salute you, because I don't know if I have the stamina for that at this point in my life. I would love to be footloose and fancy free to tell everyone about my spirituality, but many things hold me back from doing so.
Anyways, back to my point, I am scared to put myself out into the real world just as much as I am apprehensive about putting my viewpoints into the internet world. This blog is more of a private space, but I want to branch out and be more than that. I want to blog so that people can read my posts and know me. I blog so that others can feel a bit less afraid to bring their ideas to the world and maybe feel less alone out there. I'm solitary (in many ways) so I pretty much know what I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, being solitary in my craft is my preference, but I would like to have more exposure to other Pagans. I want to have a community I can be apart of, which is why I have created a YouTube channel. The only thing is, I have reservations about being a part of the Pagan YouTube community. In the beginning of my learning about the craft, YouTube was my sanctuary and learning tool. I watched so many videos to try and learn more about what I was actively seeking, and I fell in love with so many Pagan YouTube personalities. I liked that they were all different but heading in the same direction, and they all had wonderful things to offer to my learning. YouTube Pagans helped me grow as a Pagan, so I want to give back the community in a positive way. Unfortunately, criticism runs pretty high on YouTube, and I know of many Pagan YouTubers that have closed their channels or changed channels often because of the high rate of criticism. I'm not afraid of being criticized, but I am worried about the ensuing drama that nearly always occurs.
So I have made my channel, I will upload my videos, and I will see what happens and learn from my experience, as we all should in life.
To my readers, do you feel the same as I do on this issue? Please let me know I'm not alone on this or if you like, give your take on this situation. If you have had any kind of similar experiences or know of someone that has, post in the comments below. I love hearing what other people have to say on this subject.
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